


say you'll see me again (even if it's just in your wildest dreams)

by ikissedalice



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, F/F, Song: Wildest Dreams (Taylor Swift)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:28:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27714761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikissedalice/pseuds/ikissedalice
Summary: Kara continues, accusing tone increasing, "So why? Why'd you leave like that? What did I do that made you decide to walk straight out of my life without a reason why? Will you finally tell me now? Because it's like everytime I try, you only push me away further and run. And I can't-"Oh to hell with it."God Kara! I was in love with you, okay?"orsupercorp's wildest dreams au
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 6
Kudos: 185





	say you'll see me again (even if it's just in your wildest dreams)

**Author's Note:**

> i haven't written in forever, but a friend metioned one afternoon that this was her favourite taylor swift song, and here we are.

Kara's hot.

And while it would make perfect sense because they're currently standing in the middle of a safari, with the sun hung high above their heads, that isn't quite the hot she's referring to.

Hot, as in Kara has such perfectly sculpted abs that seem to be calling out to her and all Lena wants is to just walk over there and _touch_.

But she can't. Because that would be stupid, and an immediate guarantee ruiner of their friendship.

So instead she shifts her attention to Sam, currently preening over Lena's hair, and sighs.

Which garners her a raised eyebrow and a look from her hairdresser slash friend.

"Are you looking at her again? Even after I specifically told you not to because it would lead to this conversation happening again?"

Lena rolls her eyes at the brunette through the tiny mirror placed infront of her and says, "Oh no! Sam's going to nag again! Whatever shall I do!" Earning her an automatic smack on the arm.

"Be sarcastic all you want Luthor, it still doesn't cover up the fact that you're just too chicken to deal with your feelings for her."

"I don't seem to recall any of that being your business Arias," Lena bites back, eyes narrowed.

"Aaaand denial is a river in Egypt."

Lena lets out an annoyed huff at the smug grin on her friends face, because even though she can deny not facing her feelings for a certain blonde, she can't deny denying it. _You know?_

"Yeah yeah, whatever, just go back to fixing my already great hair, you meanie."

"Real mature Luthor."

*******

They're shooting the tent scene today.

By they, Lena means her and Kara. And by tent scene, Lena means the future cause of her death.

She doesn't see Kara until after hair and makeup, and makes her way to the tiny tent the crew set up right next to their resort.

She's dressed in a black spaghetti strap with her dark hair carefully tousled when she spots Kara, and her eyes widen.

 _That thin, white material of your tank top does absolutely nothing to help me Miss Danvers,_ Lena curses, and attempts multiple times to avert her eyes. But to no avail of course.

"Lena, Hi!" Kara's eyes light up when they land on her, despite her telling herself multiple times that it was a figment of her own imagination.

"Hey Kara," she replies, a tight smile gracing her lips.

"You look amazing today." It's that one offhand comment that sends Lena into a downward spiral.

_K-Kara thought she looked good?_

Just as she's about to stutter something along the lines of, _gee thanks, you look great too, but you know, just like, great, not in a i-would-kiss-you-if-you-asked_ way, Andrea starts barking out orders at the entire crew. And Lena's never been more grateful.

On second thought...maybe not.

"Kara, I need you to trace her skin lovingly. They're in love, and you're poking her like a five year old."

Lena's face flushes a tinge of pink at Andrea's directions, as Kara nods in embarrassment. "And...action!"

They immediately slip back into character, and Lena leans back into Kara. The blood rushes back to her face all over again as she feels Kara's warm body press against hers.

Soft fingers brush gently against smooth skin and Lena desperately searches for a way to take her mind off just how nice this all feels

_It's just a character. You're acting, and you're a professional. What's happening now is between Willow and April, not Kara and Lena. So don't make this weird._

Besides, it's not like they could ever compare to their characters. They were shooting a rom-com for God's sake.

A hot-shot actress, April who ran away from the big city and it's blinding lights, seeking solance at a small safari in Africa. Where she meets enchanting park ranger Rebekah, and feelings blossom. But Rebekah doesn't know who she is, or the complications that await, and April doesn't know what to do.

 _If only everything was that simple_ , Lena thinks.

They get the shot they want eventually, and everyone heads back to their trailers. Lena flops face first into her duvet and groans. It had been a long, hard day.

After a good five minutes of feeling sorry for herself, she finally off the bed and headed for the shower.

The first blast of warm comforting water felt like a godsend. Raking her fingers through her hair, the water trickled down her face and her eyes closed shut.

And let her thoughts wander.

Pretty blue eyes and a mesmerising voice flash through her mind. She can feel the steam from her hot shower filling the air, and the ghosts of Kara's fingers, her touch, linger on her skin.

She imagines them wandering further.

And her eyes fly open, and she gasps for air.

 _That was- that shouldn't have happened_. Lena doesn't know how that happened. It was stupid, a stupid thought, a one time thing, and it wouldn't happen ever again.

What they had now was great, they were friends, maybe best friends? And she was going to keep it that way. Yes, just a few more weeks and then it would be all over.

*******

Time flies when you're having fun.

Lena never quite felt like she understood that feeling until now. Seconds turned into minutes, minutes into hours, hours into days, and days into weeks. And before she knew it, they were down to the last day of shooting.

Even though she had spent the past month crushing her feelings for Kara, the thought leaving all this behind left a pang in her heart.

Maybe it was the early morning shoots, when Andrea had everyone in hair and makeup at four in the morning. Or the midnight shoots, where everyone bundled together for warmth in the freezing cold.

Or maybe it was the thought of leaving _her_.

If you asked Lena to recall her favourite memories during filming, you'd realise. That they all had one thing in common.

The early mornings were less dreary with Kara. Lucky days where they got the shots before the sun rose, and they sat side by side, at the edge of the cliffs, enough distance away from the crew.

Her head on Kara's shoulder, them watching in comfortable silence, as the sun rose in beautiful hues of golden.

"It's so gorgeous," Kara had said the third time, "Can you even think of anything prettier?"

_Lena knew it was a terrible cliche._

The sadness that hung in the air was miserable, Lena could practically feel it radiating off everyone as she made her way to hair and makeup for the very last time.

"I'm gonna miss you Sam."

"No way." Sam's eyes sparkle with amusement, yet genuine at the same time.

"I'm serious!"

"Yet you still won't tell Kara how you feel."

Lena tenses at this, "You know I can't."

"Why not?"

That's new, she notes. Yet there's already a given answer to it.

"Because she's with him. Because we're friends and I love what we have and I can't go ruining all that because of some stupid feelings," Lena sighs. "Because she doesn't feel same way."

Sam softens at her words. "Lena... you'll never know if you never try, especially not if you don't give yourselves a chance."

"Take that leap, and you'll never know what you might find."

Lena shakes her head violently at that. "Sam- just drop it, okay? She's dating someone, she isn't going to leave, and she isn't going to pick me."

Lena's frustrated and upset tone is obvious, and Sam doesn't pry any further.

She just hopes.

Lena takes a shaky breath as she walks onto set, and tries not the think about what Sam had said.

Her eyes glance briefly over the room until she spots Kara. Who's all bright and sunshine-y even though it's the last time they're going to see each other like this. And it's oddly relieving.

It doesn't happen often, but they're shooting the final scene in the movie on the very last day. And she doesn't know how to feel about it.

Willow and April get their happily ever after of course, as every rom-com goes. And they fly off into the sunset in a very expensive plane. Lena snorts at that.

She watches, Kara climbs aboard the plane rather ungracefully, landing with a small oof on her ass. Pouting as she clambers up, dusting her pants.

And despite all the mess that Kara is, Lena finds her heart skipping a beat as Kara offers her a hand with a teasing bow.

"Milady."

"You're ridiculous, Kara Danvers."

"Yeah well, you're the one that's smiling."

Heat rises up Lena's cheeks when she's caught. "Do you actually know how to fly this plane? Or am I going to die horrible death-"

"Hey! That's so mean, and I spent forever learning just for a less than thirty second scene!" Kara complains indignantly.

"All right, all right. I'm sorry I ever doubted you," Lena relents, apologising with a smirk.

"Besides, touch wood, if you were to die, would it be so bad if I were the last person you saw?"

Lena's train of thoughts come to a halt at that.

Kara, however, doesn't realise the effect of her words and laughs to herself, attention moving on to whatever Andrea is saying.

So she doesn't hear Lena's whisper under her breath.

_"No, no it wouldn't."_

After multiple safety checks, Kara's given the okay signal to take off. There's a loud rumble, causing Lena to squeeze her eyes shut. And when she opens them, they're already in the air.

"Okay. Kara, that's the perfect height. Now I'm gonna need you to circle around there until we get the shot we need," Andrea's voice buzzes through the radio.

Lena looks at the camera's attached to the sides of the plane, carefully positioned by the crew minutes before to capture that perfect fairytale ending.

"And...action!"

Like she's practiced so many times on land before, Lena leans forward, body pressing against the back of Kara's seat. Her arms delicately wrap around her chest, careful not to disrupt Kara's focus.

And she rests her chin on Kara's shoulder.

"That's perfect. We got the shot on the first go. Good job girls. Kara, you can bring the plane down now," there's static as Andrea's voice buzzes through again.

The reality sets in, and Lena thinks, _it's too soon._

She isn't ready to let go of all this. Not yet.

The bittersweetness of the moment hits like a truck, and yet- Kara circles the plane again.

"What are you doing?"

"Just look," is all Lena gets in reply.

And she does.

The sky is painted a brilliant gradient of blue and purple that gradually transitions to a stunning yellow as the sun sets.

She didn't notice it before, too busy wrapped up in her brooding. She also doesn't notice that her arms are still around Kara, the feeling being something she basked in.

And Lena wonders.

Wonders how it would feel like to hold Kara like this all the time. Wonders how it would feel like to be able to kiss her, touch her, without feeling like it wasn't right.

 _Take the leap, and you'll never know what you might find_ , she wants to, so badly in a way that words can't even describe. So maybe, just maybe, if she tries.

"Kara, I-"

"Kara? Did you hear me just now? You can land the plane now. We're done."

And Lena's cut off even before she could get the words out.

_What the hell was she thinking anyway? That she could just confess her feelings for Kara and everything would be okay?_

Andrea's words hit deeper. She was right, they were done, and Lena had to stop living in a fantasy. She wasn't April, and Kara wasn't Willow, and that happily ever after?

It wasn't coming.

Lena knew that now, more than ever before.

There are whoops and cheers when Kara lands the plane. Happy tears of joy are shed and the phrase and that's a wrap is thrown around one too many times.

Lena manages a tight smile as Andrea begins her final speech. She catches Sam's eye, who shoots her a look that she can't quite decipher.

And when Kara starts a round of hip-hip-hooray, Lena lets out a final sigh and leaves. She's stayed at the back of the crowd, so she doubts anyone will notice her leave.

She almost races back into her trailer, slamming the door shut behind her. Leaning back against it, Lena hangs her head.

She can't do this, not anymore.

"Lena? Are you in there?"

Fuck.

"Hello?"

There are faint whispers Lena makes out from the other side of the door.

"Maybe she's in the bathroom, that's why she isn't opening up?" 

"But she doesn't lock her door! I think I saw her run in here just now, did I do something wrong?"

She lets out a dry laugh at that. A silent one.

_Oh Kara, it isn't you. I'm sorry._

"I-I'll just slide this under her door."

There's scratching, then a pale pink card slides beside her.

Wild's Wrap Party, it reads.

Lena doesn't think before tossing it into the trash. She shakes her head, and begins packing her bags.

She's on a plane back to National City by three in the morning. Her heart aching, yet she's surprised herself by not being in tears yet.

Lena fidgets in her seat, finding it uncomfortable despite it being first-class. Groaning, she reaches for her backpack, wanting her travel pillow.

There's a loud thunk, as she places it on the tiny table next to her. Odd, considering all there is in it is alleged pillow and protein bars.

She reaches in, and pulls out a wrapped parcel. _Huh_.

It's wrapped nicely, and she runs her fingers over the smooth paper. Gently picking at the tape, Lena takes her time in opening it.

Yet when she pulls out its contents, she freezes.

_Dear Lena,_

_I spent forever thinking about what to write, and it turns out, I have alot to say. So forgive me, because I tend to blabble alot, but you already know that. God, I'm doing it aren't I?_

_I just, I wanted you to know that the past year I've spent filming Wild with you has been the bestest. Between the early mornings and late nights, being beside you made it all suck like, a hundred times less._

_You're the best person I've worked with on set, and an even better friend. Your talent and character will never not be inspiring Lena._

_And I for one, can't wait to see what you do next._

_Love,_  
_(your bestest friend in the whole wide world)_  
_Kara_

Behind the card, there's a framed photograph. A setting sun, the silhouette of two girls, one hopelessly in love with the other.

A tear splashes onto the glass.

*******

The lights flash over and over and Lena's traitorous eyes just land on her again. She watches, watches as Kara smiles her million dollar smile.

Lena doesn't want to be here, not at all. But it's part of the job. Frankly, she couldn't care less about the movie's big premiere, especially not the media attention that came with it.

She'd arrived late on purpose. Entering only after Kara had moved all the way down the red carpet. Watching from the sidelines.

Lena hadn't spoken to Kara since that day. And she wasn't planning to. She just had to keep her feelings buried deep down and it would all be okay.

At least, that's what she hoped.

But then her gaze freezes, and she knows her eyes turn an icy cold as she sees Mon-El slide a slimy arm around her waist and pull her closer to him. She feels fingernails digging into flesh when she sees Kara cling onto his arm.

Suddenly, all that old, unresolved anger and hatred and resentment in Lena, bubble to the surface.

At Mon-El for being able to have her, at her for simply not knowing, and at herself, just because she was too much to a coward for not trying.

_For not taking that leap._

And all of a sudden, it's becomes too much.

She feels her feet moving even before it registers in her brain. Watching as the crimson red of the carpet passes behind her, she hears the slight murmurs of the crowd yet doesn't bring herself to stop.

Soon enough, she's placing one foot infront of the other and the sound of her Louboutins clacking as they hit the ground is all she can hear.

 _Right, left, right, left, right, left, right, left..._ Lena chants in her head.

There's another buzz from the crowds behind, and she hears a "Lena wait!"

She pauses.

She stops dead in her tracks and listens to the sound of another pair of heels running behind her.

Shit.

She stops, she actually stops. And ponders over the possible consequences and repercussions if she turns back, and faces her feelings.

And she knows.

Pushing open the grand glass doors, Lena pants and catches her breath. She sees the faint light of a taxi approaching, a raindrop hitting the tip of her nose, and can't help but laugh at the pathetic irony.

There she is, a girl with a hopeless crush on someone she'll never be with. Choosing to be the better person by walking away. And there's her runaway car, showing up just right on time. _Hah_.

She flags in down, yanks the door handle open, hops in, and shuts it. Asking the driver to lock it in case, just maybe, she changes her mind. Which she won't.

Watching as the glass doors burst open again, Lena leans forlornly back against the seats, and tell the driver to _, "Just drive, anywhere, please."_

Though the side view mirror of the car, she sees Kara standing there, in the pouring rain, at the edge of the sidewalk, watching, as the car begins to fade into the distance.

And Lena doesn't know whether or not to feel elated or disappointment when she realises that Kara isn't running after them. _Running after her._ Then she laughs once again at the hilarity of her situation. This isn't a movie, it never was. Because then Kara would've been right beside her from the very beginning.

So she takes a deep, shaky breath, and rests her head against the cool glass. Trying her very best to ignore the ache in her chest.

 _Tonight was the last night_ , she tells herself and squeezes her eyes shut, _this last night, and I will let this go._

_I will let her go._

*******

For months, months, everything is great and fine and Lena moves on with life like normal, and it's like nothing's ever changed. And then they meet again the annual academy awards. She takes one look at Kara again after what feels like forever, and it takes the breath right out of her lungs.

Right as she thinks the day can't possibly get any worse, she finds her allocated seat, right smack in the front. _Great, that's just perfect. Right infront of all the cameras_. Her name plastered on a piece of paper stuck on the back of the chair.

She takes one look at the name written in mocking bold on the seat next to hers and thinks, _fuck me forever_.

And it's only seconds after Lena buries her face into her hands when she hears it. When she hears her.

I mean, despite Lena knowing that their reunion was bound to happen eventually, the anxious palpitations in her heart sped up even faster when the oh so familiar sound of twinkling laughter drifts near. Flashbacks of their last encounter race through her mind as she heard the footsteps get closer.

And then they stop, and Lena looks up, and bites her tongue in an effort to prevent her jaw from hitting the ground.

Because Kara's standing infront of her, with her blonde hair cascading in perfect curls and baby blue eyes that she could just sink and drown and die in. And her dress, oh god her dress.

"Lena, hey," It's that familiar sound that jerks Lena out of her staring. God, she was staring.

"H-hey," she all but manages to stutter.

She watches, as Kara unceremoniously plops herself beside her, still managing to look as gorgeous as ever. And mentally smacks herself for noticing.

She watches, as the awkward tension between them grow, and Kara desperately tried to make it go away but all her attempts just come out as nervous stuttering.

So Lena pleads at the gods above or whoever's running this damn event to just please dim the lights and make all this go away.

_Make my stupid feelings go away._

And the lights dim, and Lena heaves a huge sigh of relief, despite knowing in the back of her mind that the night has only just begun. She can feel Kara's eyes on her already, and the questions sitting on her lips that Lena would do anything to avoid.

But she doesn't let her frustration show. Instead, she takes a deep breath, leans back against her seat, and tells herself, _tonight. Just tonight._ And everything will go back to the way it was.

_Normal, great, fine._

She ignores the tiny voice at the back of her mind that whispers, _but without her._

*******

It's an hour later, and Lena knows that, because she's been anxiously checking the time every five minutes. And she quietly congratulates herself to making it through an entire hour, sitting beside Kara.

A small smile rests on her lips, and she's so absolutely sure that she's going to make it.

And then it happens.

For the past one hour, she'd been so obsessed without checking her phone to see if a minute had passed that she never really paid any attention to the awards being handed out infront of her.

Yet now, there it was. Mon-El's douchebag face being maxed out and plastered on the giant screen. "Mon-El, War of Daxam," the automated voice announces to the crowd. The stupid nominations list.

Lena could practically feel the once of happiness she'd been clinging on to mere seconds ago begin to ooze out of her. While the anger and hatred took it's place.

Of all the things that she had accounted for happening today, she never thought of this.

Anyone sitting within a three metre radius of her would've noticed her trembling slightly with rage, her knuckles turning a pale white from the clutching.

Then a soft hand lands on hers.

The feeling so warm and familiar and all together comforting, that Lena feels herself calming down immensely.

"Hey, are you okay?"

Emerald eyes shoot up to meet those stunning baby blues.

"Y-yeah," she replies. There's a twinge of pain in her palm and she looks down to find tender marks of when nails dug into pale flesh.

"You're bleeding." It's a remark, not a question.

"Oh."

_Oh?! Seriously? That's the only thing you can say right now?_

Lena watches, as Kara digs around in her purse and pulls out a pack of band aids. She could tell it took Kara a tremendous amount of effort not to say aha!

When Kara wordlessly sticks her hand out, she finds herself just placing hers in it.

"Which one?"

"What?" Lena asks confused.

"Which princess do you want?"

Lena finally looks down at Kara's lap, only to find an array of band aids with disney princesses printed on them.

"Dork," she mutters under her breath, then her eyes widen, realising what she did. Kara's eyes are suddenly on her too. Surprised at Lena's words, yet she makes to intention to bring it up.

"Cinderella," Lena replies softly, and feels the weight of unspoken words on her lips.

_You remind me of her._

Soft fingers gently graze her skin as she places the band aid on, and there's a hitch in Lena's breath. Fuck.

But Kara didn't seem to notice, not as she kept the array of unused band aids back into her purse.

"There. All better," she mused, satisfaction on her face.

Lena doesn't think twice before chuckling humorlessly and says," _Maybe you should kiss it better."_ Which might end up being the probable cause of her ultimate death.

Sheer horror reflects off her face when she realises the possible implications of what the words she had said on a whim would bring.

"Kara, I-"

"What happened to us?"

And fuck. Because that was a question she'd been trying so desperately to avoid this entire night.

"I don't know what you're talking about, we're fine. Are we not?" If she played dumb, then just maybe, Kara would stop asking all the questions she didn't want to answer. God, she even threw in a raised eyebrow in an attempt to sell her lie.

"Wha- Lena, I know you know what I'm talking about," she insists frustratedly. "Why don't we talk like we used to? You don't reply my texts or return my calls or or-"

Throwing her hands in the air, Kara's voice rises as much as she allowed to, "You left."

Lena's eyes widen. The night of the premiere. When she heard Kara's voice asking her to wait. When she ran after Lena into the pouring rain.

But Kara didn't run after her.

"Kara listen, if you're upset about that night, I'm really sorry I wasn't-" she fumbles with her fingers, all whilst trying to come up with an excuse for leaving that night.

"No."

She looks up, slightly taken by surprise.

"I wasn't talking about that night. Well, somewhat that night too but, it's not just that," Kara rambles. "You left, not just that night."

"You were a huge part of my life Lena. And then what? All of a sudden we aren't talking anymore? We used to hang out everyday. And then one day you just packed your bags and upped and left."

Kara continues, accusing tone increasing, "So why? Why'd you leave like that? What did I do that made you decide to walk straight out of my life without a reason why? Will you finally tell me now? Because it's like everytime I try, you only push me away further and run. And I can't-"

_Oh to hell with it._

"God Kara. I was in love with you, okay?"

The moment those words fall out of her mouth, Lena felt as if a portion of the weight she'd been lugging around for almost two years had finally disappeared.

"I was in love with you, so the problem wasn't you," she continues. "It was me. Now, does that answer your question?"

Lena refuses to look Kara in the eye, because she wasn't sure if she'd be able to handle the tender looks of pity she knew Kara was giving her.

But if she just looked, she'd see just how wrong she was.

"Lena-"

"Look, I didn't want to fall in love with you. Not at all. But at some point you smiled, and fuck, I blew it."

Kara's eyes widen at the revelation, yet her eyes soften at the shakiness in Lena's voice.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because- because loving you was like watering plastic plants in the hope that they'd grow," she smiled sadly.

"Like sitting up by the fireplace on the night of Christmas eve, waiting for santa to come. Like making a wish upon a shooting star." Her eyes cast down, "You're with Mon-El kara, you have been for years. And I couldn't just ask you to give all of that up for me."

A beat of silence passed.

"I still can't ask you to give that all up for me."

Neither of them hear Wild being announced on the nominations list.

"Lena I-" Kara's cut off before she's able to finish her sentence.

"Look, you don't have to say anything. And we can just go back to how it was before all this and we can pretend like this never happened and-"

"I broke up with Mon-El."

Time came to a standstill.

"You-" Lena whispers in disbelief, "You broke up with Mon-El?"

"Yeah," Kara replies.

"Why?"

"Because you left, and it made me come to realise alot of things. Like how Mon-El sucked," Lena snorts at her faint attempt to insult her ex.

"And how I deserved better," Kara adds. "Then I realised, that better had been right there infront of me all along."

Lena didn't dare hope.

"But I'd been an idiot. I'd taken too long to realise that, and now the person I wanted was gone."

Upon her confession, Lena finally brings herself to meet Kara's eyes. They're regretful, Lena notices. There's a hint of sadness and longing in there too.

_And hope._

She recognises the same glimpse of hope shining from Kara's eyes. It's identical to the one beating in her heart.

Neither of them speak, both terrified that anything could upset the precarious balance of space and time that it took to get them here.

It happens only mere seconds later.

"And, the winner for Best Original Screenplay is... Wild!"

All of a sudden, the crowd around them erupts into applause and there are shrill whistles coming from all around. And there are people patting Lena on the back and words like "congratulations" and "well done" are being tossed around. They're getting attention from people all around, yet-

 _Yet she only has eyes for her_.

And Lena feels the rush of adrenaline and thrill course through her veins. It's a complete spur of the moment when she makes the decision. _When she takes the leap._

She takes another look at Kara and all she can think is how _breathtaking_.

Reaching for Kara, her pale fingers brush against the softness of her cheeks. And she pulls her in.

Lena likes to think sparks flew when their lips finally met. Because nothing else in her life could compare to the feeling in her chest in that very moment. When all she could think was _finally, finally, finally._

She could feel the smile dancing on Kara's lips when pressed against her own.

_And it felt like coming home._


End file.
